Friday, 18 September 2015

Who'd Have Thought It? Me? A Student!

When I started this blog the tag line said something like.....

"I'm not Theologically trained, but I've read some books and listened to the odd podcast......"

I was coming towards the end of a messy period in my life spiritually and mentally, and was always searching online for answers; some of which I found among blogs I still follow today and which inspired me to start this one.

However, my searching over the last few years has now led me to a place where next week I start a BA in Theology and Mission, so all being well in three years time I will be able to say 'I'm Theologically trained!'

It's funny how God calls us and directs us to things we feel very unqualified for.  Having pretty much flunked my GCSEs 20 odd years ago, it never once occurred to me I could go into higher education.  Growing up my experience of church and Christianity couldn't have been more dull and meaningless, yet here I am looking to learn how to grow Gods Kingdom and reach out missionally to my community!

Change is good, but there have been ups and downs along the way as we adjusted as a family to help me make this transition from self employed to student. Little things like 'who's going to make dinner?' To bigger things like 'can we survive on a student loan?' But already in the journey I have known Gods hand in the details and His answer to prayer constantly. So when I have my meltdowns of doubt wondering what on earth I have done, I remind myself that this is Gods plan for me and I am following His lead so although I may feel I'm out of my depth, I know I'm not following something I decided on a whim, I am answering Gods call to step out in faith and trust that He knows I can do it even if I don't!

One of the verses that has stuck with me from before I went to my first open day earlier in the year is:

Judges 6:14
The Lord turned to him and said "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand.  Am I not sending you?"

Gideon felt unqualified and weak and made excuses.  And I too have felt like that many times, but I know it is God who is sending me and therefore I have to trust that God can use me with the strength and knowledge I have, even if I don't feel it's enough, God does!

So as I embark on this journey of lie-ins, daytime tv..... ahem, I mean study, I am praying that God will open my heart and mind, that I will meet some wonderful people, that I will be involved in growing my home church and that my student discount card will be accepted in Costa. Amen.

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